Márta Laura Várvizi
My relationship with myself and with life became far more simple in the last few months than how it was before. And though I never ever felt myself being so acceptant and so complete, still, I felt that I lost something. I lost the part of me, the old me, for whom never nothing was good enough. She always wanted more and always as soon as possible, and yes, she was a bit crazy, full of judgements, but I really loved that she was unstoppable and that she could never relax into anything that was less than 100% free.
And now, here I am, as a new me, a much more patient me, and I am satisfied and in peace with myself, with life, but in a part of me I am still wondering if I can trust in my newfound self-acceptance. I wonder whether feeling complete and fullfilled before I reach anything, before I create a new life for myself, won’t keep me apart from living a dream life. Won’t everything be calmed down in my life, as it calmed down within me in a sense, just because I accept myself, because I already feel that I am good enough as I am right now?
There are millions and millions of human beings around me on this planet who settle for less. They are doing a job that they don’t really enjoy doing, they are in a relationship that is far from being fullfilled, and they spend their free time with doing things that don’t fill them up neither. There are many many humans who don’t believe that they can get more from life, and maybe they even convinced themselves that it’s enough for them. A sad story, but it’s not mine.
Unlike them I can feel myself fullfilled at any moment I choose so, but still, a part of me is asking it with great fear: what if my self-acceptance and fullfillment will turn me into a person who will settle for less, just like they do? During the last one month I even gave up searching for answers to questions, or solutions to problems, but this one question really got me. In a way my whole galactic story is included in this question, and it’s standing like a great divide between my future and my past, between the new me and the old one.
While I’m looking for the answer inside of me, I invite Mikael to come even closer... and I start to feel the answer... I feel such an intense joy and passion that it makes me hold my breath... but rather I choose to breath deeply... Now I feel that with this fire, with this infinite passion for life within my being, in a sensual and orgasmic relationship with life, if I allow, it will be absolutely impossible for me to ever settle for less. And this is not just Mikael’s fire, but it’s mine too, as a Soul, and this fire wants to live, it wants to dance, to feel, to grow, to experience, and it wants to express it in thousands of ways how deeply I am in love with myself and with life. With such a Divine Fire at the core of my being, in alignment with my Heart and my Mind, I could never settle for anything that is less than the most beautiful, most fullfilling, most liberating experience I can possibly create for myself.
So no, I definitely don’t have to worry, not for a single moment, about becoming a person who sais ’no’ to more life, to more adventures, just beacuse she feels that she has enough already. My Soul-fire and my love, my acceptance for myself are in constant support of my growth and of my deepest desires to dive into the sensual nature of life, and to explore life in the deepest possible way.
And though the old me always fighted for her freedom, she also denied life to serve her by not accepting what life offered to her, by not allowing herself to embrace life to its fullest richness and beauty. In her fight for freedom, she could only lose what she fighted for, because regardless of the outer circumstances, the real battlefield was always within her mind. Within the mind in which I still maintained this fear of not getting what I came here for.
It is just my mind which is confused about the paradoxes of life, by the contradiction of accepting everything in and outside of myself the way it is, and, at the same time, experiencing myself and life in never-ending growth and blossoming. Nevertheless for me, as a Soul, it’s more than natural that by allowing everything to be as it is, without judgements, without expectations, without fears, I’m allowing life to serve my highest, most fullfilling potentials. It’s more than natural for me that by celebrating myself, life also celebrates me. And when life celebrates me, with me, through me, then living the life of my dreams is absolutely avoidless.
I’m saying farewell to you, dear old fear! You served me really well, and I’m grateful for that, but now I let you go. And thank you, dear old me, whom I will love and cherish forever! I could have never done it without you. I already set you free, and you will always be here within me, so just keep enjoying the show, because, as you already know it, the show must go on, and it keeps getting better and better and better.
Connecting with Divinity within You
by Jeanne J. Anderegg
In some spiritual texts, there is a process described as the phase when we learn to abandon the human will and surrender to Divine Will. That is when we reach the awareness that we are living in a Divine Benevolence, in the Divine Universe. But most of us did not always have that awareness. Many of us started the path differently, and went through the so-called dark night of the Soul.
We can understand that some people have lost their faith in the Divine Benevolence after some difficult and painful experiences. Most of us have experienced those moments: doubts and bitterness, and questioned about life and existence. Many of us have lost a beloved one; and have experienced health issues. Or lost a job more than once, struggles with finances, felt depressed, hurt, bitter and disappointed. We all had moments where we did not understand what life was about.
Many of us were looking for answers to questions we had, because we've been seeking for ways to heal some old wounds. That's how many people found their way back on the spiritual path. We all have to find our own spiritual truth, our own answers. I spent years reading different types of spiritual books, to understand more about the "Divine Source". The good news is that when our own inner consciousness changes, our life changes into a new type of harmony and peace.
Same as others on the spiritual path, I went through challenging years and many crisis, to come out changed and transformed. If you find yourself in challenging times or crisis, please do not give up. Trust that your Divine Self wants to help you to awaken and heal. Sometimes, a crisis is more an inner cleaning processes, and not a crisis.
When we walk the spiritual path of awakening, we are somehow living between two worlds. Sometimes more in one world, a more spiritual world, sometimes more in the old human consciousness. Depending where we are in our awakening process, we still fall back in the old consciousness, but with time those moments get shorter and shorter.
We more and more become aware of the Divine Self within us. For some of us this is easier. For some it is more difficult to trust it, because of certain things they experienced in the past. Others doubt it, because of what they learned since earliest childhood. Sooner or later, we all have to lay aside what we have learned and experienced, in order to become open for the Divine Truth.
When we grow up, most of us learn to function in a type of survival mode. Some would say that we learn to be who we are not. Nobody really explains to us that there is a God within us who could help us, if we allow it. For many people it is part of the awakening process to learn how to trust again that Divine Self within. On the process of awakening, how do you feel about that Divine Self that You discovered? How do you live with it? Are you aware of it during the half hour of meditation, or are you aware of it all through the day, in all situations of your daily life? Depending on the culture and environment we are living in, this is not always so easy.
The good news is that the more we become aware of our Divine Self, the more we can step aside with our human self. Our human self only functions in survival mode, and it is used to react. It reacts to everything and everybody. The ego is trained to always answer and to control; either people or situations. It is often loud, rarely able to take a break. And it gets easily angry when things do not turn out the way it planned them. It does not know that there is a Divine Self, an I AM-Presence.
At this point, often the questions are: how much do we now step aside and allow our Divine Self to take care of situations in our daily life? Will we continue in the survival mode, or do we now listen to the Divine Consciousness of our Divine Self? What are the new possibilities available to us through the connection with our Divine Self? Can we trust that it can help us heal our body? Do we believe that our Divine Self can draw to us new possibilities beyond our imagination? Or, do we continue to believe in the old limitations of our human consciousness?
Sometimes when people walk the spiritual path, they open to the idea that there is a Divine Self within them. And also that they are connected to a Divine Source and the Divine Realms. But at the same time, they can't believe that through this Divine inner connection, things in their daily life could change. They continue to cultivate old ideas of lack and limitations. Even as they are waking up on the spiritual path, they continue to live in the old survival mode for certain things, because the trust is not yet fully there.
While for some people this step is fast and easy, for others this step needs more time. Simply because of the different journeys some Souls have experienced. Therefore, we ask the question: how can we combine the different situations of our daily life with the spiritual awareness we have discovered? Not everybody grew up with the same spiritual awareness. Some people come from families where never a word was spoken about the existence of a God.
Now you become more aware of the Divine Source and your part in it. Are you ready to step aside and let your Divine Self shine through you, more and more often? Or do you continue to manage things in your daily life in the old survival mode?
It is a healing time, when we remember more and more our own Divine Self. It is the most beautiful relationship we can experience: the one with our Divine Soul.
It helps when we consciously invite our Divine Self to guide us, to participate in our daily life situations. We then have to stay open to receive guidance. Or to step aside and let it work through us. Because as long as we rush into situations with our human self, we block the Divine Flow.
Interesting things happen when we learn to listen within for Divine Guidance more often. There is rarely real trust when we are in the old survival mode of the human self. But now, together with the Divine Self, we can trust that there is "something" helping us. It is our faith and trust that truly opens the doors for the Divine Synchronicity into our life.
Divine Blessings to You,
Jeanne J. Anderegg
In the I am I Trust
Cheryl & Jeff Klos
My wife Cheryl and I became aware that we were following the I am and Saint Germain since 1997. This started us on a journey of almost living a separate life from the others around us. Otherwise our other interactions in life seemed to be fairly normal. We became aware of the Crimson Circle and Tobias around 2005, and Ancient Wings with Robert and Archangel Michael after 2010. Jim Self has also been an influence in our lives over the past several years. The more time passed, the more our lives with the I am and recognizing we are Masters with Training Wheels became distinct from our lives in a lineage society.
We started an Interspecies family about a decade ago by adopting two young Spaniels, Miss Gem and Mr Joe. We fed them with their own bowl on the floor until we very shortly realized that Mr Joe was very open to helping Miss Gem eat her food also. So for Mr Joe’s portion control, we all had our chairs at the family table. They became our children. All was really good with our lives and we were excited about December 2012, and what the changes would mean to our lives. In mid-2012, Miss Gem became sick and passed away in short order in circumstances that left us devastated. Our desire to live left for a desire to not. We later approached Robert and Archangel Michael for advice on several questions. Michael updated us about some of our personal issues and what to reflect on, and how he would help us to change our consciousness.
In the April 2016 Shoud, Saint Germain and Adamus mentioned that the real change is internal, based upon our allowing. We may see this as change in our external world, by what we may view as new events, although they are still a repeat of what has occurred before.
Jim Self uses the expression, “you can’t take your baggage with you”. Well, for me and Cheryl, the period from mid-2012, to April 2016 we must have released a lot of baggage and had a great deal of change in our internal world, only to have it culminate in obvious change to our external world around April 2016. These past several years have been very challenging and rewarding all at the same time. This was internally and externally. I will provide some of the details, to say it is now obvious that as our old world was falling apart, a new world was now starting to be experienced. Will there still be more changes and challenges? I expect so. But at least we can say we are starting a new chapter.
As stated by Crimson Circle, our pet’s aspect can come back to us in a new animal body. With Cheryl’s intuition and help from several animal communicators, we understood that Miss Gem was available for return. This time as an adorable cat, we renamed Miss Puddin. She choose her new body and place of birth far from us in Canada. A new passport and my first trip to Florida was in order.
Mr Joe, our dog, barks at every other animal. Only Miss Gem was not subjected to this. In late 2012, with the arrival of Miss Puddin, the cat, the next six months were full of challenges and stress until he fully accepted her. Both Cheryl and I were challenged on our ideas of how to safely care for our older boy and younger girl. As of now, we both share a more co-operative and accepting position to each other’s view.
About late 2013, early 2014, several other major issues came into view to challenge and benefit our perceptions and life.
First we saw an opportunity to change our financial picture, by investing into what we viewed as an expression of new consciousness in a new digital currency. The potential benefit seemed simple. The unknowns, and risk also factored in; more than we realized. In order to change our financial picture, over time we realized that the investment had to be more significant. As a middle aged couple, this challenged our ownership of our house, and our future lifestyle for retirement or more freedom to enjoy activities outside of work. This investment became very consuming and a long drawn out process. Only more recently has it become financially beneficial. I have a stable job as an auditor with a pension for my expected retirement date in mid-2020. Retirement earlier results in a penalty of 7% a year, or about 28% now. After sitting at a desk for about thirty-five years since completing high school and going on for further education, my wife Cheryl and I have a new experience of more financial potential for me to retire four years early, with a reduced pension. Was the amount of trust, allowing and acceptance of the unknown we had to place in this issue easy? It was extremely difficult? But as a result, we both changed internally and externally.
In the last year, Mr Joe’s enlarged heart increased. He is now 10 ½ and due to some really good medication, vitamins, his will to live, and possibly our allowing of our light bodies, he seems to be doing better than anyone expected. At 22 lbs, Mr.Joe eats as much as Cheryl and I, except we are vegetarian. All four us share a king sized bed, we sure love our furry children and truly honor them. Both are Masters in their own way, and they have helped us with insights, wisdom, and love. Yes, we serve them, as they serve us.
The next opportunity for change and growth was our home. We built a new home in the country in 2008, where until the last several years, it offered more privacy. The privacy eroded over time and we focused on finding a new home and questioned where to live. This was complicated more as we looked at moving out of province, where our financial picture played greatly into this. The circumstances surrounding this challenged us greatly, and we definitely can say that lots of baggage release was involved. We tried to sell our house privately for six months in 2015, and then we obtained an agent in late 2015. In early 2016 we found a house in the local area, which we view as although the owners built it for themselves, their circumstances changed, and we can say they built it for us. So much that a number of the finishing touches involved our choice. As of April 2016, we are now in our new house, so our desire for freedom caused us to move on without even selling our old home and keeping it for sale, how trusting are we!
So what changed over the last three years since we allowed Archangel Michael more into our lives? For lineage and external family and friends, much, too much to mention. Otherwise, release of our baggage, integration of aspects, a change in finances, early retirement, and a new house; All from a more conscious I, and my wife Cheryl. We also see more consciousness in our children, Miss Puddin and Mr Joe. In no regards was this easy, and just as many things left from our lives, many times the things we wanted to create seemed like they may also not be in our life.
Everything internally and externally seems to be working out well. Still lots to release, and a lot more potentials to experience. Keep on breathing, and allowing. Sounds simple, many times it isn’t. As I understand Archangel Michael, and other Archangels, along with the Masters you allow, including yourself, are here for the experiences you choose to create.
Ancient Wings Blog
April 6, 2016
The Pursuit of Freedom
as told by a self-proclaimed master on earth
Greetings dear friend! If you are reading this, chances are that you are someone who’s been on a long path of trial and error, navigating through countless ups and downs, yet stubbornly proceeding at a steady pace towards your ultimate goal of absolute freedom.
Chances are that, just like me, despite all that you’ve been taught and programmed to believe, all the attempts to fit in and acquiesce in the norm, you’ve always known deep within that there’s much more to life than simply working hard to make ends meet, being confined to an aging body, coping with drama of family and relationships, and being surrounded by people who don’t get you. You’ve intuitively known that the rewards of our human existence can be much greater and far more fulfilling than the occasional vacation planned to divert yourself from a reality that does not agree with you.
It was your dedication, determination, and unwavering commitment to a more meaningful life that have gotten you this far. You’ve searched and chased, you’ve attentively listened to all who claimed to have found the answer, read all the life-changing books that fell into your hands, and listened to all the soothing, inspiring, or transformative soundtracks. You have practiced meditation, perhaps even yoga, and have learned a wide variety of techniques, ancient or new, that offered the tempting promise of self improvement, and a heightened state of consciousness.
If you are anything close to the overachiever that I was, you’ve probably got all sorts of credentials, piles of impressive certificates in all of the so-called alternative healing and teaching programs offered by those you strongly believed to be above you regarding spiritual hierarchy. You took all the metaphysical classes, read all spiritual blogs, subscribed to all uplifting newsletters, and attended all mystical retreats and webinars. You filled your drawers and cabinets with transcripts, brochures, class handouts, and personal notes that you truly believed were all so precious but had never had the time to revisit.
There was always something new, something better or more advanced for you to learn, to get your hands and mind into. There was always the next level that would get you closer to your goal. Eventually, freedom became the carrot at the end of a stick which seemed impossible for one to reach.
After a while - a decade or two - you find yourself scratching your head, wondering where all this strenuous work and steadfast effort are taking you. You begin doubting your conviction that life is going to get better one day, that you are going to become a yet better version of yourself if you only learned this one more thing, or attended this one more class. You endeavor to continue in your known, by now already old path, ever faithful to your uncompromising searching, acting the same way as you did before, but you begin lacking the excitement, the passion, and the motivation.
The dreadful time comes when you feel you’ve heard it all, when you suspect you’ve surpassed most of your teachers, and transcended most of the techniques. There is a deep sadness that takes over you, you morn your feel-good old identity of a devoted pupil, an ardent seeker. You can no longer pretend to still be a student but you are not yet comfortable in your new place. You are not even sure what this new place is. It is all so new, unfamiliar, completely unchartered territory to your puzzled, beloved mind.
You look back and realize that you have changed so much, you don’t even recognize the person you were ten or even five years ago, and to your greatest disappointment, the world has remained exactly the same, if not worse than before. You even dare to ask what the point was to all of the pain and suffering you went through to become this new, awakened person that you are now. Oh, the endless tears and sleepless nights! The agonizing awareness of your outdated, self-destructive patterns, and all the pain of letting go! The facing of your worst fears, the resurfacing of unsettling emotions that you had worked so hard to bury so deep, out of your sight.
However liberating is the realization that all is gone by now, and that you have never before felt as clear and as comfortable as you are with your new self, everything else outwardly remains dull, dreary, and regrettably the same.
You question the sanity of it all. Were you so far off to think it was possible to live in joy, grace and peace in a world as chaotic as this? You look into the bag of tools you’ve accumulated over the years to find one that will help you to overcome the emptiness, the sadness, depression even, but the once reliable tools are no longer effective. You have changed a great deal and they don’t work anymore. You look around and witness most people going about their lives in total oblivion, and you feel inclined to envy them.
You did not feel you belonged then, before your profound transformation, and you don’t feel you belong now. So what is one to do?
Strangely enough, especially to the overachiever with an overactive brain, the answer is: nothing. Yes, you heard me correctly - absolutely nothing!
My initial reaction to such a liberating realization was to feel once again lost, then sad, and later depressed. Breathing consciously, still my favorite tool, did not help no matter how much I tried it in order to overcome my present sense of desolation.
Having nothing to do, I ate more than my body needed, and watched more movies than my mind could stand. Even made a few attempts to find an answer in one more workshop. The mind, in sheer panic, desperately sought something to occupy itself with, horrified with the prospect of losing its primordial significance in the new scheme of things.
Nothing? Seriously? What is the point then? After all that bliss, all those moments of utter inner peace, of standing in awe, gratitude and reverence for all things and all beings?
Oh, all the times I’ve walked around with a smile on my face, expressing outwardly the wholehearted freedom safely housed in the sacred space within! The intoxicating waves of pure ecstasy that traveled unannounced throughout my whole body when I least expected. The abundant tears of joy, the profound connection with animals and nature, the palpable awareness of oneness!
After all the clarity, the euphoria of finally remembering who I really am, the certainty that life in itself is an extraordinary gift to be enjoyed regardless what is taking place in the outside world. The experience of boundless compassion for humanity, and unconditional love for the human self. The reassuring knowingness that I am exactly where I’ve always longed to be!
Here and now, in a place ruled by freedom and freedom alone.
The arrival, the completion. The end, and the beginning.
After all that, what else would I need? There is nothing else that needs to be done. It is simply time to enjoy life just for the fun of it, to choose and create that which brings me joy, while strengthening my connection with spirit.
There is nothing to be fixed or improved. The daily motions of chopping wood and carrying water will always be present but I experience them all from a new, grander perspective, in a carefree sort of way.
More than ever, I rejoice in my interactions with kindred spirits in both sides of the veil. I meet wonderful beings like yourself when I choose to participate in a fun gathering somewhere away from home. In the comfort of my own beautiful living space, I regularly connect with the loving energies of Archangel Michael and Yeshua through Robert Theiss and Koka. I participate in the monthly shouds of beloved Adamus Saint Germain through Geoff and Linda Hope. I delight at the Soul Cafe with cheerful Kuthumi through Marisa Calvi. They are all dear friends.
From the new, expanded state I have allowed for myself, I bid you namaste dear friend!
Know that slowly but surely the mind adjusts to the new. Doing no thing, life gets better each day! There is much joy in ‘nothing’!
The Masters Journal
Ancient Wings is very excited to announce our latest project. We are inviting the awakened human being to share their story with a growing global audience. Your experience could help to inspire many who need encouragement and support during these intense times of transformation. Our first article is from Nici Melotto, titled “The Pursuit of Freedom”. You can read her submission and all future posts in our blog (see link below) or newsletter.
If you’d like to submit an article, the topic can be whatever you think would be of interest to any awakened human around the world, about 750-1400 words in length. You can also reference any service or class connected to Ancient Wings or any other teacher or program.
Send your submission to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will let you know if your article was accepted and when it will be featured, until then I’ll keep it on file. Thank you again for joining us on this great adventure and for sharing a new love for life that begins with you!
Conscious breathing offers a new freedom, a new love for self! Every four seconds, 1000 kisses from Spirit descend into your life. Every minute, another 15,000 kisses await you and yet standing boldly in front of you is your human pride. It believes you must do this alone. In the name of pride, you have attempted to tame the currents of life, control its impact and manage its love for you. Such folly will not be able to withstand the love you have invited in this now moment. Every hour, another 900,000 kisses! The floodgates are open, abundance becomes realized and a new passion for living stirs the heart of the awakened human being. A new day begins, another 21,600,000 kisses await you; cascading over your body, mind and soul. You thought this was going to be difficult? Now would be a very good time to let Spirit love you back!!” Michael
A DRAMA FREE ZONE
Sometime ago I had a very profound dream or maybe it wasn’t one after all. I found myself in a very peaceful place. I asked whoever might be listening, ”Where am I?” I heard a voice say, “your in a drama free zone.” I then asked, ”How did I get here?” I suddenly found myself on a long train; I was riding in the caboose. The train was rocking side to side, going full speed to who knows where. I felt this urge to get out of my seat to tell the conductor to slow down. It took a lot of effort to stand up and begin walking through all the train cars. Each car represented a different stage in my life, including some past lives. I met a lot of people who complained about the conditions on this train but none of them would follow me to confront the conductor. I always got the same response. “You can’t do that, you’ll get thrown off the train.” The ride continued, inevitably, it would always derail, people’s lives were traumatized but eventually it got back on track. I found the whole process exhausting but I was determined to confront this conductor who seemed to have cast a spell on this train.
After many years, I finally reached the engine room and too my surprise I saw myself as a child shoveling coal. This child, who turns out to be my ego, looks at me and says ”it’s about time, where have you been?” I looked ahead and saw another version of myself with its back to me operating the controls. So this is the conductor, he is sweating profusely and without turning to face me, he say’s “I’ve been thinking about giving you the authority to operate this train,” he suddenly turns and stares at me, “but you don’t look qualified to me.”
Maybe it was the tone of his voice or the way he looked at me but it definitely triggered a response. It wasn’t anger, in fact I almost found myself laughing. I looked down again at my ego who was frantically shoveling coal and then I saw a magnificent being standing next to me. Michael was handing me his sword and simply said, “Take ownership of your life.“ I grabbed the handle and drove the sword through the floor, past the train tracks and into the ground proclaiming “ I Am That - I Am”. The train suddenly stopped, I found myself in this very peaceful place. Standing next to me was the conductor; also known as my mind. He turned and looked at me, “I guess I was wrong, where do we go from here?”
ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE
You have invoked the presence of your soul with passion and conviction to experience an expanded version of your story. Now it is here, asking to blend its presence with your mind, body and spirit. Many of you see this as a gift from Spirit. But the gift came from you when you honored your soul’s passion. Like any relationship that is built on direct communication, mutual respect and trust, you have gifted your soul beyond measure by sharing your human experience. Feel into this - is your soul a new roommate, neighbor, or relative? Perhaps you found the ideal lover, business partner, spiritual advisor and friend.
If your soul came to you in human form, how would you share your life with this new live-in partner? Are you going to make a new set of house keys or must the soul always knock first before you let it into your life? How do you split the payments on your mortgage or rent? Who mows the lawn, washes the dishes and cleans the house? Are you dreaming of a new house, a vacation or new car – are you going to pay for these your self or are these mutual expenses? You allowed the presence of your soul to be in your body; eventually it’s going to exhale in your direction. What do YOU want to receive? What would you expect from a human partner? Would you constantly give of your self but never receive? Your soul isn’t your parent, wife/husband or employer. This “is” the soul mate you’ve been yearning to have in your life. In this new relationship, you can ask for anything but you also need to respect the nature of how your soul creates. Its gift to you becomes real when you step into your soul’s reality – by choosing to reside in this present moment. The present moment doesn’t rely on the “art of trying”. It requires no effort but it does require a great deal of trust. Most of you won’t find an example of this kind of trust in your past; you’ll have to imagine this feeling for your self.
Ask and you shall receive! Now would be a very good time to set your story free and embrace this new relationship with an open heart, a quiet mind and a renewed passion for living. Your soul received your gift with open arms the moment you let it into your life. We know your past is full of examples of receiving just the opposite of what you asked for. Step out of your past and your mind just long enough to feel the gift your soul wants to share with you. Ask…how do you want to be loved?
"Your enlightenment is truly quite simple. Are you willing to listen, feel and act with those parts of you that already “know”? If not, then the parts that don’t know will create your experience for you. Humanity makes it so complicated but it is truly this simple.”